Martha Stewart + Christina Applegate = Liz

I hope I haven’t fooled any readers of this blog into thinking I am some kind of sweet-natured, millennial Martha Stewart. No offense to Martha, but I am more like…. Hmmm… Maybe Christina Applegate minus the smokin’ hot bod. I curse WAY too often. (I am seriously trying to stop but sometimes I just really love the comedic emphasis given to a statement by the implementation of a properly timed F-bomb.) I like to drink (though I rarely get to now that I’m breast-feeding) and I wish (sometimes) that I could still go out and party like a 22 year old. I actually did that recently with my best friend Michelle. We got all dolled-up and went out for a night on the town with our hubbies. I was sort of amazed that the club-scene hasn’t changed much except for the fact that I could have been the babysitter of most of the kids out there that night. I kept wanting to come up to them and sing Mamma Mia style, Does Your Mother Know That You’re Out? Most of the music is the same that was being played 7 years ago when I was frequenting the same locations (now under new management), except it became painfully obvious how old we were when “Teach Me How To Dougie” came on and not a damn one of us knew what to do.

I do have Martha tendencies though. I love to bake. I mean like seriously, I read cookbooks and spend hours on Pinterest drooling rainbows over recipes. (Okay, fine, not hours. As if I have more than one uninterrupted hour to spend on Pinterest, or anything else not related to starfall.com or Disney Junior.) A couple years ago I taught myself how to make home-made yeast cinnamon rolls and DAMN, seriously, they are delicious.

An example of my Applegate tendencies, when Bella was in daycare, before I was even pregnant with Vivienne, Bella was full on in her terrible twos and I was wondering how she behaved at the daycare so I asked one of the girls there if she does what she’s told or if she throws temper tantrums, and she told me that in large part she behaved and did as she was told, except that sometimes she’s not nice to the other kids. I inquired as to how and she said (in a quiet and clearly mildly scandalized tone) “She’s been telling the other children to ‘shut up’,” she looked on at me with wide eyes as I replied, “Oh, she must have learned that from one of the other children here, we don’t say that at home. Now, if she drops an F-bomb, that she picked up from me.” 

I guess I’m a good mix of Martha and Christina. Sometimes I wax philosophical, and other times I sound like a drunken sailor set loose on an unsuspecting public. I hope this blog will be an even mix of both. Thanks for stopping by!

Cartoon Sources:

1.) Some E Cards

2.) Everyday People Cartoons