Dai Due

Homegrown fruit and dried herbs on the windowsill. 

Caveat Lector:

Let it be known that I am not a "foodie" nor do not write restaurant reviews. I was inspired to write this piece upon visiting the best restaurant on the planet. I am not exaggerating. I seriously doubt I could love any place in the world as much as Dai Due. It has everything that I think makes a restaurant perfect. These are my own opinions though, as someone who has worked in restaurants, and does not review them.

Our view from the bar, you can see the herbs hanging
out to dry at the top right.

Here's the TLDR on why I love Dai Due:

1. Everything is genuinely fresh. They literally rolled a side of venison out to the butcher shop right in front of us as we sat eating. The bartender told us the owner used to actually hunt for the food to supply the restaurant. He doesn't have time for that anymore, but come on, that's incredible!

2. The decor is simple, but elegant. It doesn't feel pretentious in any way, and you don't have to dress up to go.

3. The food is mouthwateringly delectable. I wish I had some now. And later. And forever. Till death do us part.

4. The Food presentation and the food itself is gourmet, arranged aesthetically pleasingly, totally unique and inspired, and the menu changes often.

5. The prices are reasonable. You'd think that a place this awesome would break the bank, but it totally doesn't. Now, it's not cheap, but it's doable. We live on one income, so this is important. We were able to eat lunch and have two beers apiece plus desert for about $50 plus tip. That's only slightly more than what you'd spend at Chili's, for much better food and atmosphere. (We don't normally spend $50 on lunch but this was our first weekend alone together in a while so it was like a date.)

Here's the Whole Enchilada:

Preserves! And check out that awesome vintage register
on the bottom shelf!!!

Eric's mom took the girls this past weekend, so Eric and I headed out to have some grown-up time. I had told him I wanted to go day drinking like we used to when we were in our early 20's and didn't have kids yet. It turns out I am far too cheap a date these days for that. I was done after two beers. But I digress. I wanted to go downtown, because I love downtown and never get to go there now that I'm no longer working down there. My only other requirement was that he take me someplace "Austin-ish". I was pretty demanding. "I want to go someplace people have heard of, some place people are talking about. Go to CultureMap Austin and search for restaurant lists or something like that." I wanted him to make it up to me for the last time he took me out to "Chinos Burritos" in Round Rock, a Chinese-Mexican fusion place that I later described as "diarrhea waiting to happen". I was dubious of his choice at first, but he assured me that it was an actual "Austin-ish" type place that people were talking about, and was supposed to be featured in GQ soon. So along I went.

The bartender, she was such a good sport. Forgive me, I forgot her name.

Boy, did he deliver. He took me to a place I couldn't pronounce called "Dai Due" and we sat at the bar. I asked the bartender how to pronounce the name of the restaurant, and like a total tourist I made her completely uncomfortable by asking if I could take her picture. She reluctantly agreed and informed me the restaurant is pronounced "die DOO-ay" that's "die" as in "the food is to die for". I loved everything about this place immediately. You can smell the wood-burning grill from the parking lot, and it smells like smokey heaven. Inside, I referred to the decor as "modern farm", and it was positively alluring. Boughs of fresh herbs were tied up and drying against the exposed brick wall next to the grill. The glasses and plates matched, but the silverware was charmingly eclectic. Everything looked like it could have hopped directly off a Pinterest board and into reality. Not only was the decor simple and beautiful, everything was also useful. I worked in the restaurant industry for six years, from high school through college plus one extra year when I was looking for work after graduation, so I know about restaurants and how they function. Everything about this place was pretty much the polar opposite of what I know. Instead of a stainless steel line and heating lamps to dry out your dinner, there was a wood-fired grill to keep food warm. Instead of a nasty plastic fruit tray filled with maraschino cherries and grody looking bar fruit, there were jars upon jars of labeled preserved fruit on shelves right above the bar. It was clear the bartender had taken some out and had been using them for twists and whatnot. In the windowsill there were various dried herbs, labeled and obviously being used. Instead of brightly-colored, brand-heavy tap handles, there were steak-knives (!!!) to dispense the several different kinds of craft beer. Tucked in between two booths there was a nonchalant record player with several albums. I didn't stop to ask if it was working or in use, but it certainly may have been, it looked functional.

Steak-knife tap handles!!!

I am a pretty social individual, and I like sitting at bars for the purpose of talking to other people (which is not really as acceptable to do if you sit at a table) so I struck up a conversation with the couple next to us who advised us to try the lamb tamales. It looked really good, but we'd had Mexican food the night before, so I decided on the cheese burger instead, and saved the tamales for my next visit. I could tell they change the menu pretty often because it was printed out on regular 8.5x11 paper, as if they were done new each day, and in fact the bartender confirmed that the menu does change almost daily. When my burger came, it was the neatest burger I have ever been served. it wasn't greasy or flowing with juice and melted cheese, it somehow sat perfectly inside its bun. It was served with pickled carrots as a side and oh my dear lord baby Jesus I had no idea how delicious pickled carrots are. They were selling them by the jar but they were $8 and I knew I'd probably eat the whole jar before we even got home. The burger itself was unlike any I have had. I can't even pinpoint what all was in it, other than mouthwateringly thick cuts of bacon and a kind of homemade mustard that tasted like nectar of the gods. After lunch we had another beer and a slice of the apple bread pudding. That was gone so fast I didn't even get a picture of it. It was so unbelievably delicious. It had a perfect cinnamon sugar crust on top that was light and crunchy, and the rest of the dish was warm and soft. It was topped with whipped cream and a kind of cinnamon honey drizzle.

The burly man in in the foreground pulling tickets is the owner, chef, hunter,
and all around badass. He served us our desert and was very friendly. You
can see the wood fire grill in the background.

In all, I am in love with Dai Due, and I expect to go there again very soon, and very often. As soon as the GQ article comes out, I will link it here, if I can. Here's what the Austin Chronicle had to say about Dai Due.

Eric's "Texas Breakfast" is on top, my most wonderful perfect
cheese burger is on bottom.

"Cameltoe" and Other Songs for Which We Owe Our Kids an Explanation

FannyPack/Image via Boobypack <-- check out this product,
it's pretty cool! <-- I was not paid to say that, and I don't own
one, it just looks interesting to me.

So, I've never been quite sure if I'm classified as a 90's kid or an 80's kid, because I was born in the 80's, but spent most of my formative years in the 90's. I started kindergarten in the Fall of 1989, and graduated high school in May 2002. So my primary education took up the whole of the 90's. I think this makes me a 90's kid. I don't really remember much about the 80's anyway, except that everyone had big hair and loud makeup, and my teenage brothers had really stinky knee-length soccer socks that had colored stripes at the top.

Recently my husband and I were discussing how truly obscene the R&B songs from the late 90's were, I mean, they were really unabashed and blatantly sexual. I remember a few in particular that I used to sing along to the radio with, having no idea at all what I was singing about. For example, Ginuwine's "Pony" which in 8th grade had me singing:
   
     "If you're horny/
      let's do it/
      ride it, my pony/
      my saddle's waiting/
      come and jump on it"

Or Next's "Too Close" which starts out with the line:
   
     "I wonder if she can tell I'm hard right now?"

...and the lyrics don't get any better from there. I'm sure I made my parents cringe on multiple occasions, but don't worry mom, I really didn't have the vaguest conception what those songs were about.

It made me start thinking about all the other popular songs from the 90's and early 2000's, and some were seriously ridiculous. On an unrelated note, "Seriously ridiculous" is a great oxymoron. I just decided to compile a few here for examination and discussion, in hopes that we'll come to a consensus and be able to explain them to our kids one day when they ask.

The Thong Song by Sisqo (1999)

In 1999 Sisqo let the ladies in on the secrets of what guys talk about. Um, apparently, that is women with "dumps like a truck"... what does that even mean, Sisqo? And why do you spell your name so weirdly? You see, kids, in the late 90's and early 2000's women wore these really uncomfortable and allegedly sexy undergarments known as "thongs" (that were basically perpetual wedgie underwear) in order to avoid the dreaded panty line (scary music plays that sound eerily like the Ying Yang Twins - seriously those dudes sang about ball sweat and panty lines). Women would buy elaborate thongs and allow them to hang out the top of their super low-waisted pants (low-waisted pants are the reason "tunic-length" shirts became popular, we had to cover our plumber cracks somehow). As Maggie Smith said in Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, "I don't understand having that underwear up your ass crack, they don't cover a G.D. thang."

Blue (Da Ba Dee) by Eiffel 65 (1998)

So listen up here's the story about a little song that made just no damn sense at all, and all day and all night they would play it on the radio, and force us all to feel blue. Da Ba Dee Da Ba Die. You see kids, people did a lot of psychotropic drugs in the 90's, which resulted in a lot of really weird and repetitive, bass heavy dance music. Hope you brought your glow sticks. The only good thing that came out of this song is all the speculation of what exactly the lyrics were. That's right kids, this was a time before the proliferation of Google and online lyrics databases. My favorite was my best friend's little sister who speculated the lyrics were "I'm blue, if I was green I would die", which makes more sense than the actual lyrics.

Mr. Tangerine Speedo by Caviar (2000)

I'm not sure anyone but me actually remembers this really odd song. I couldn't find an official video for this one, just this ghetto 300 compilation one, but that's the song alright. It really wasn't even that popular but it would get stuck in my head so bad when I was in high school. This song is just so weird that, to this day, I can't make heads or tails of it. I don't really want to take it at face value, but I can't figure out definitively what else it might be about. Apparently I'm still naive. You see kids, in the days before Michael Phelps showed us how wrong we were, speedos were largely a joke, and not considered attractive swimwear. In the 90's music just didn't make any sense, even to those of us who were around.

Tootsee Roll by 69 Boys (1994)

File this one under songs I should not have been listening to at all, because I was in fifth grade when this song was popular. My 10 year old friends and I were skating around at Skate World in Victoria to this baffling song. I'm shuddering just thinking about what debaucherous song my daughter will be dancing to in five years when she starts thinking she and her friends are cool. Aside from being extremely annoying, this song is way too damn long. I mean really, how long are you supposed to slide slide slide slide slide slide slide slide before you can start dipping? And when exactly is that "whoop" coming up? You see kids, just because a hip-hop song is "vintage" doesn't mean it's good.

Honky Tonk Badonkadonk Trace Adkins (2005) 

I don't know if this is the first instance of a country music/hip hop blend, but it's definitely the stupidest one. You see kids, in the late 90's and early 2000's, rappers started calling women's buttocks "badonkadonks" but only if they were adequately curvaceous. For some reason, Trace Adkins wanted to get in on this trend, and made that ill-conceived video featuring seriously skinny women, none of whom have anything close to what could be considered a proper badonkadonk. For five bonus points (no we're not keeping score but who doesn't like bonus points) check out this article on the etymology of the word "badonkadonk" (!!!)

Operate (Or basically any song by Peaches) 2004

I had never heard of Peaches until I saw the movie Mean Girls, and obviously I had to go download this song immediately, burn it to a CD and blast it as I was driving around in my freaking awesome 2000 silver Eclipse with the automatic sun roof. Those were the days. Nothing made sense about Peaches and I think that's why we loved her. Her vulgar and unorthodox songs came with a sick beat that made people dance even if the lyrics didn't make any sense. Ah, so um, you see kids...I got nothing on this one. Murdering a man to harvest his kidney was no more acceptable in the early 2000's than it is today.

Camletoe Fanny Pack (2003)

Don't act like y'all don't remember this instant classic. This is not one you heard on the radio, because (at the risk of sounding like an old person) you see kids, back in the early 2000's, we may have been rocking out to songs about frontal wedgies, but the FCC still didn't allow them on the radio. (Affects old lady voice and starts typing like an old person) BACK IN MY DAY PEOPLE DIDN'T TALK ABOUT SUCH UNTOWARD SUBJECTS! NOWADAYS THEY'LL EVEN SAY "ASS" ON THE COUNTRY STATIONS! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO? WHERE'S MY MILK OF MAGNESIA? I NEED TO MOVE MY BOWELS AND TAKE A NAP.

NEWS

This picture has nothing to do with this article,
but I had to have something to pin. Moo.

Not that it's news to my family and friends, but I started writing professionally for Wide Open Country in December! I wrote for them through the month of January and then they asked me to come on as a contributor in February just before the site launch! It is very exciting for me to be paid to write about a subject I enjoy (country music) and to have my byline on the articles, so I am super psyched. Last night was the monthly phone meeting (most of the contributors live out of state, with a majority based in Nashville) and I found out they named me the Writer of the Month! I did a little silent scream, which was totally unnecessary because I was muted both on my end and their end of the conference call, and hiding in my closet to avoid interference from my kids and dog. (Don't worry, the hubs was outside with the kiddos).

Also in February I wrote the inaugural blog post for the newly formed Texas Freelance Association! I got the Wide Open Country gig from the Austin Freelance Gigs Facebook group run by Awesome freelancing guru Emily Leach (founder of the Texas Freelance Association), so it is only right to return my good fortune by sharing whatever insight I can - not that I'm so insightful, but I like to give back. I thought the blog was pretty dang funny, but I haven't gotten a huge response from it. No biggie, I had myself in stitches, and that's the important thing. Love yourself, right, early 90's motivational posters? Anyway, I am so very excited with what this year has to offer so far!