Stuff Bella Says

Bella has always been a talkative child. Whatever comes to her mind immediately comes out her mouth. The other day I was sitting at the island in our kitchen and (apparently) my low-waisted jeans were showing what I refer to as my H.A.C. (high ass crack - no seriously, it practically starts up between my shoulder blades). So she comes up and says, "Moooom! Your butt is showing!" I'm kind of sassy so I retort, "Do you like it?" instead of getting all grossed out she bursts into giggles and says "Yes! I love it, I want to hug it!" and then seriously, she hugged my butt. Where did this kid come from? She totally gets my sarcasm and she's still not even four years old.

Sometimes she doesn't even mean to be funny. For her third birthday we had a pool party at the neighborhood pool. Since we were outside we bought small boxes of Nerds™for the party bags (because anything chocolate would have melted in the Central Texas heat). A few days after the party there were still plenty left over and she asked me if she could have some. She had been good that day, so I relented and she followed me, skipping, to the pantry. I'm reaching up to get them when I hear her say "Mmmmm! Turds! I love turds!" I laughed for five solid minutes, and then had a hard time explaining to her what was so funny.

Just this morning she was looking at one of my copies of "Us Weekly" and said, "Mommy, is this magazine about fashions or boobies?". That's a valid question, I think.

When she tooted in front of my friend Kristen, her excuse was that the fart came from her elbow. Kristen advised her to go get that looked at.

Just the other day she was playing Doc McStuffins with my friend Michelle and told her she was sick with "bad-itis".

Bella makes a bubble beard and bubble hat

When I was first pregnant with Vivienne and we didn't know what we were having, we kept telling her she was going to have a baby brother or sister, so one time when my sister Pam was babysitting her she proudly proclaimed, "I got a baby butter sister... in da mama".

When I was working, I had to get her up early and drop her off at my friend Ashley's house who would watch her for us while we were at work, one morning she said to her, "I was sleepy, like a sleepy chicken" but she said it so somberly that it really made me chuckle.

Random Cuteness:

Bella cuddles her Jimmy John's sandwich

I love how she puts an "M" in front of everything. Her friend Alexis is "Malexis" (it sounds like "molasses" when she says it), she also says "Maprade" (Parade), "Magraff" (Giraffe) and "Magrage" (Garage).

She always asks you if you remember things that either didn't happen or you weren't there for.
"Mama, remember when Nanny and me saw peacocks at the zoo?"
"I wasn't there for that, sweet pea."
"Mama, remember when that hippo farted?"
(Laughing) "That was a youtube video, sweetie."
"Mama, remember when I ride on a unicorn on the rainbow and I'm a princess fairy?"
"Uh... no, no I don't remember that at all, honey."

She bookends questions with "why":
"Why I hafta take a nap, why?"

Some gems from my Facebook page:

Bella is well on her way to becoming a full on movie buff. She picked out "Young Frankenstein" to watch, and then ran into the living room about half way through and exclaimed, "Mama! The bookcase squish his face, and he say, 'PUT THE CANDLE...BACK!'" and then she ran around the living room for 5 minutes giggling and screaming "PUT THE CANDLE BACK! PUT THE CANDLE BACK!"

Bella this morning: "Mama, Bampires are mean!"
Me: "Vampires?"
Bella: "Yeah cuz Bampires are mean to princesses, and all peoples are scary to her."

Bella has learned to use her cuteness the same way a super villain might use his powers. She came into the kitchen tonight and the following conversation ensued:
Bella: "What are THOSE?!" (Pointing to some cake pops I've just made)
Me: "Cake Pops"
Bella: (Folds hands together like she's praying and squeals) "OOOH I WUV cake pops! I eat them?"
Me: (I pick her up because she's so cute I just can't resist) "Not tonight, but you can have one tomorrow."
Bella: (She throws her arms around my neck) "Okay. Lets be rain clouds!"
Me: "Rain clouds?"
Bella: "Yeah. Tickle me!" (She jumps down and runs off screaming and giggling.

Bella just ran into the living room as Eric was hanging my new curtains and said, "It smells like dragonflies in here."

I made up a little song with Bella's name to teach her what her full name is, but I think she may be a little confused about her surname, because just now in the tub I found her singing it thusly:
"Isabella Charlotte Abrahamsen!"
"Isabella Charlotte Abra-footies!"
"Isabella Charlotte Abra-booty!"
"Isabella Charlotte Abra-tooties!"
"Isabella Charlotte Abra-scratches!"
"Isabella Charlotte Abra-boo-boo!"

We're watching TV and a diet pill ad comes on, Bella watches for a second and then (parroting a phrase that is repeated often in the ad) yells, "EWW! WOOK! BODY FAT!" I bust out laughing, in response she starts trying to make me laugh by screaming out things like "Body fat in you head! Body fat in you feet!" So I'm laughing uncontrollably now thinking of all these people who need diet pills for their fat heads and feet.

"Bitamins make you all shiny and warm in your froat, mama." - Bella's assessment of the benefits of vitamins.

Last night I wrapped Bella in her unicorn towel after she got out of her bath and in response she said, "I'm a unicorn! Moo!" And I started to say that's not the sound unicorns make when I realized I don't know WHAT sound unicorns make.

This morning Bella came to me holding her "Fur Real Friends" kitty and looking all sullen and pouty she says to me, "Kitty BIT me." I seriously could not stop laughing.

Whatever you have, Bella has the sparkle version of that. According to her, anyway.
Sample conversation:
"What are you doing, mama?"
"I'm doing laundry."
"Oh. I got my sparkle laundry?"
"...Is that a question?"
"No, I TELLING you, I got my sparkle laundry, mama."
"Oh..kay... Sparkle laundry sounds interesting, baby."

And the pièce de résistance:

On the way home from viewing Christmas lights (two years ago) she made up her own version of Silent Night that goes like this:
Silent night
Tryin' to sleep
Under the blanket
Silent night
Dreaming night
Tuesday night
Silent night
In a blanket
And a cake
Silent night
Silent night
Night night
Sleeping
In the stars
Silent...
(long pause)
Silent night
Silent day
Silent sleep
(Unintelligible but emphatic)
(Makes snoring sounds)
And I wake up!
And I not cry!
And it's sad!
And I not cry!
And a wakey
Silent night
Never night
German night
Okay
Silent day
Stylin' lemon (<-- I swear she sang that)
Where Bella sleep