There Are Places I Remember...

The house I grew up in

It's been a while since I posted, I've been super busy so my blogs are back-logged. Back-logged blogs... say that five times fast... Anyway, on September 13 my oldest and dearest friend Ashley sent me a text telling me to pack my bags because we were going on a surprise trip down memory lane for my birthday! I grew up in Victoria, Texas, which is (for most people) a pit stop on highway 59 between Houston and Corpus Christi. It's too large to be considered a small town, when I was living there the population was around 40,000. However, since it's pretty far removed from other cities it functions very much like a small town and has that small town siren call that keeps natives coming back.

My sister Katie holds our cat Abe

It may not seem like a fun trip to most people, even to Ashley because she lived there much longer than I did, but she knew that I would really like to go there, and she even arranged a meeting with our 4th grade teacher, Ms. Prince, in whose class we met in October of 1993!

I was born in the Calhoun County hospital in Port LaVaca because my parents had been living in Point Comfort until right before I was born and my mom's Obstetrician was there. I lived in Victoria at 504 Joplin Street from birth until just before my 13th birthday. To this day Victoria holds the record for my longest residency in any Texas city, although I suspect it will soon be outstripped by Austin in a couple of years.

My family moved to Victoria because my dad got a job at the Brown and Root plant there, and none of the rest of our family lived there, so when we moved away in the Fall of 1996 there wasn't much reason to visit. We did go back and forth periodically for the next three years because it took us that long to sell our house, and I went back every once in a while throughout high school and in to college to visit Ashley and her family, but now that they've moved to the Austin area, it has been at least six years since I went back.

Some of my old class mates (5th grade) play on a piece of
playground equipment that has since been removed

Ashley took me to visit my old landmarks, we went to Vickers Elementary School, and checked out my old house, which is three blocks away. I used to walk to and from school until I was old enough to ride my bike. We visited the Victoria Mall which is basically the only thing to do in town most days. We visited my old home church, Trinity Episcopal, where I also attended school for second grade, by a stroke of good fortune the organist was there and he let us in and we roamed around, breathing in my past. It was really odd because they have never moved around the class rooms, and the second grade class room is in exactly the same spot it was in when I was there. However, there is now a portable building where there used to be a small playground, and they turned the old library into a computer lab. C'est la vie.

Ashley and I climbed an old jungle gym - this was silver
when we were in school

I have never had the courage to go up to my old house and knock on the door and ask to come inside. I know it would be completely different if I did, new furniture, new smells... That's why I was so happy to be able to go back into my old church where not much has changed. I had Miranda Lambert's "The House That Built Me" stuck in my head all weekend though.

My 5th grade class

Ms. Prince was my 4th grade teacher at the beginning of the year, and due to large class sizes they had to hire a new teacher half way through the year and I was moved to her class. Her name was Mrs. Miller. Mrs. Miller and Ms. Prince were my favorite teachers from elementary school. Mrs. Miller moved from Vickers to Howell Middle School in 1995 but I didn't have her in sixth grade. At some point in time she must have moved away from Victoria, but Ms. Prince is still teaching 4th grade at Vickers, she's in her 37th year of teaching!

We thought this was the same slide, it's in roughly the same
place, but I'm not sure it is, you can tell the top is
different in the two pictures.

The kickball field!

The interior of the sanctuary, from my family's
usual pew, on the same side as the pulpit
of course

Trinity Episcopal Church front

My dad stands in the parking lot looking very Episcopalian

Me in second grade as a private school kid

This is probably 4th grade... hard to tell...
I look like Ashley's mom I'm so much taller. I still kinda do.

This is what I wrote in the margins of my year
book next to Ms. Prince's name, "The most cool,
sweet, Christian woman I've ever known" other
than my mom, obviously!

Ashley, Ms. Prince and I reunite at IHOP! She looks
exactly the same as she did twenty years ago!

Mrs. Miller - probably my favorite teacher. I had her for
5th grade as well as the second half of 4th grade.

Texts From Kristen

I could start a whole new blog just for this topic. Kristen and I have been friends since Freshman year of high school, and this chick is bonkers. She is absolutely hilarious, incredibly intelligent and her humor is pretty much exactly like mine.

Kristen and I discuss the follies of the English language.

Kristen and I plan a slumber party and discuss rain hyperboles.

Kristen's son is FANTASTIC!

Kristen interrupts her own text to alert me to the fact that she has just seen my nightmare scuttle across her garage floor.

Kristen makes me an awesome drawing.

I got some texts from Evangeline too!

Kristen was there for me when I was venting about my barfy baby

Drunk Liz loves everyone twice as much as sober Liz does.

File this one under texts *TO* Kristen. I am amused with my own cleverness. Why do I continue to shop at this retail garage sale?

Traveling with Kristen is always an adventure!

We literally texted each other the same thing at the same time. Never regret tacos.

Elixir of Life...Espresso Double Shot Recipe

This is the pretty version, just for a pic.
I totally dumped this in an enormous,
ugly cup to drink it (see below picture)
Also, this one is not mixed up enough,
but it looks pretty all swirly like that.
#TruthInAdvertising I didn't drink it
like that.

At the beginning of the summer Eric and I were at the grocery store with the kids when he banished me to the nearby Starbucks for yawning too much. It was about 3:00 in the afternoon so they were not overburdened with an abundance of business so I took my time staring blankly at the menus. I knew I didn't want something hot; first of all, it was a cool 102 degrees outside, and secondly, if I'm super sleepy, hot drinks make it worse. I also knew though, that I didn't want one of their über calorie laden frappuccinos like my rail-thin husband likes to get. Having worked in the food service industry, I put a lot of faith in recommendations from employees so I asked them what I should get and after a short discussion of my preferences and sleepiness level they suggested a double shot. It sounded intense so I was dubious, but my eyes were glazing over and I was nodding off where I stood, so I didn't have much choice. The first sip was indeed intense, so I headed over to the condiment station and added at least 5 Splendas, after which it was actually pretty dang delicious. 

I have an espresso maker at home, because I asked for one for Christmas last year. If you want to make your own coffee at home and have it be as good as Starbucks, you have to have an espresso maker. Mine is a Mr. Coffee brand, and it's pretty low-level, but it works so that's what matters. If, like me, you were unaware, allow me to inform you that espresso is not a kind of coffee, it's a method of brewing coffee. After I got my espresso machine I scoured the grocery store aisles for what seemed like hours looking for the darn espresso coffee. As it turns out, espresso is the process of shooting high pressure, boiling water through finely ground coffee. The result is extremely strong coffee. Espresso is like the Emperor of coffee, the supreme high potentate of caffeine and the coffee universe eternal. I make my espresso double shots differently than they do at Starbucks, mostly because I have the time to. Frankly, I think mine are better.

Equipment you will need:

1. An espresso maker
2. A coffee grinder
3. Coffee mug
4. Tall glass or cup - the one I use is probably 32 ounces
5. Long handled spoon for stirring - I use an iced tea spoon
6. Straw (if desired)

Ingredients you will need:

1. Coffee - I use unflavored and I like to grind my beans from whole but if you prefer you can buy already ground coffee and it cuts down on your grinding time. I have found that flavored coffee, even if it's my favorite to brew, is not the best for this drink, the pure coffee flavor works best in my opinion.
2. 1 Cup Milk - I use 2% Organic
3. 1 Tablespoon Cream (optional)
4. 4 Teaspoons sugar or 3 packets of Splenda
5. 1/2 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract (optional)
6. Ice - wait to add this until the last minute or it will melt and your drink will be watered down

Directions:

Grind the coffee until the grounds resemble table salt in size. If you grind them too fine the coffee will be bitter, too large and it will not be strong enough. Brew the espresso according to your machine's instructions. While the espresso is brewing, put the sugar or Splenda and the vanilla (if desired) in the mug. When the espresso is ready, pour it on top of the sugar and vanilla and stir it well, it takes about 30 seconds for the sugar to fully dissolve, it will be less time if you are using Splenda. Once the sugar is dissolved, fill your large cup with ice, all the way to the top, and pour the espresso over the ice. Add the milk and cream and stir until the coffee and milk are fully incorporated (about 10 seconds) then add your straw and enjoy!

The reason I think my double shots are better than Starbucks' is because I mix the sugar in with the hot espresso rather than adding a syrup to the icy drink. Mixing the sugar in with the espresso while it's still hot allows the sugar to fully dissolve and permeate the entire drink with sweetness, rather than allowing the sugar to remain in granules on the bottom of the glass. This is an extra step they just don't seem to have time for at Starbucks. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this drink, it has gotten me through the summer, and has especially been a nice treat for me when I'm a zombie from crib training the baby or night time potty training Bella, yes, I'm dong both at once! That's why I neeeeeed this caffeine!!!

PSST! If you liked this blog and you would like some more Starbucks hacks, check out this blog!

Calories will vary:

Using 2% milk with no cream and Splenda: 125 Calories

Using 2% milk with no cream and sugar: 190

Using 2% milk with cream and sugar: 235

Using 2% milk with cream and Splenda: 170
Using almond milk with no cream and Splenda: 35

When I actually drink it, I need a bigger cup.
These old longhorn cups are the biggest
ones I have, so obviously, this is where my
coffee goes. Get in my belly.

UPDATE: I have found a way to make this drink SUPER LOW CALORIE by using unsweetened almond milk and Splenda. There are only 30 calories in a cup of almond milk. I have added this new option to the calorie listing.

There's A Hole In My Brain Dear Liza

Bella has this set of CDs full of children's folk songs given to her by a former coworker of mine. Most of them are... well... okay they're all pretty dang annoying. It's nursery rhymes and classic children's songs sung by a less than stellar chorus of preteen girls (or so it sounds). Bella absolutely loves these CDs, and literally blasts them throughout the house. I have to run in there to yell at her "TOO LOUD" and turn the volume down from earsplitting to bearable. Of all these irritating songs though, there is one I find to be the absolute worst. On a scale of annoyance, one being "mosquito" and ten being "process server" this ditty probably goes up to about a fifteen, or just high enough to compel you to run, screaming, onto a busy freeway.

You may have heard this song, I honestly hadn't until Bella played this CD. The song is called "There's a Hole in My Bucket". You may be familiar with it, but for those readers who aren't, the premise of the song is that this guy, Henry, has a bucket with a hole in it, and the poor imbecile has no idea how to fix it, so he goes to (presumably) his wife, Liza, and asks for her help, and she has to walk him through every damn step because he is seriously that clueless. On top of the whole foundation of the song being irritating, the song itself is INSANELY REPETITIVE. By the end of the song I'm getting twitchy and seeing oompa loompas in the corners.

The one redeeming part of this song is that by the end, Liza completely loses her shit and yells at Henry. I have to be honest though, if Henry were my husband I'd probably be stabbing him by the end of the song.


There's a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza,
There's a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, a hole.
Then mend it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
Then mend it, dear Henry, dear Henry, mend it.
This is the obvious solution, Henry. Duh.

With what shall I mend it, dear Liza, dear Liza?
With what shall I mend it, dear Liza, with what?
With a straw, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
With a straw, dear Henry, dear Henry, with a straw.
Sorry, I thought you had reasonable intelligence. Here's how you fix it, dude.

The straw is too long, dear Liza, dear Liza,
The straw is too long, dear Liza, too long,
Then cut it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
Then cut it, dear Henry, dear Henry, cut it.
Liza is gritting her teeth now. Seriously, he can't figure that out?

With what shall I cut it, dear Liza, dear Liza?
With what shall I cut it, dear Liza, with what?
With a knife, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
With a knife, dear Henry, dear Henry, with a knife.
Fuck, Henry! For real? My mom was right, I should have married Sam Wainright.

The knife is too dull, dear Liza, dear Liza,
The knife is too dull, dear Liza, too dull.
Then sharpen it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry
Then sharpen it, dear Henry, dear Henry, sharpen it.
Liza is getting a little frantic now.

On what shall I sharpen it, dear Liza, dear Liza?
On what shall I sharpen it, dear Liza, on what?
On a stone, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
On a stone, dear Henry, dear Henry, a stone.
I'll sharpen your face if you don't stop asking me questions you dolt!

The stone is too dry, dear Liza, dear Liza,
The stone is too dry, dear Liza, too dry.
Well wet it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
Well wet it, dear Henry, dear Henry, wet it.
Liza starts twitching and giggling maniacally to herself.

With what shall I wet it, dear Liza, dear Liza?
With what shall I wet it, dear Liza, with what?
try water, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
try water, dear Henry, dear Henry, water.
This is total sarcasm dude. Ten points for Liza.

In what shall I fetch it, dear Liza, dear Liza?
In what shall I fetch it, dear Liza, in what?
In a bucket, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
In a bucket, dear Henry, dear Henry, a bucket.
Now Henry is getting attitude. Watch it, man. She's a ticking time bomb now.

There's a hole in my bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza,
There's a hole in my bucket, dear Liza, a hole.
Use your head, then! dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
Use your head, then! dear Henry, dear Henry, use your head!
Liza's face erupts into flames.


Now if that doesn't set your teeth on edge, then you have some serious issues of your own. But, if you're like me, then after listening to that whole torturous song, you are now walking in circles and counting the clowns under your bed. As a friend of a friend once told me, if you only see three clowns then you're still missing two.

Seriously Henry? I could have fixed the damn bucket myself by now.

Texas, Our Texas

Austin Skyline viewed from Lady Bird Lake

This weekend my home state seemed even more beautiful than normal. Eric's mom took Bella for the weekend, so Saturday morning we got up early with the baby and went running at Lady Bird Lake (formerly known as Town Lake). The sunrise was absolutely glorious. For the first time I saw a train pass over the bridge across from the Palmer Events Center, so of course I had to snap a picture. The beauty continued all weekend. On Sunday the skies were promising rain, and washing the scenery in a beautiful blue-gray that somehow caused the grass to look greener and made everything look sharper. On the way to get Bella from Eric's mom's house, we passed through several small farming communities. Usually it's nothing but corn as far as the eye can see, but this weekend it was cotton. A field of cotton that is almost ready to be harvested looks like a field of fluffy snow. The plant turns a dark brownish-grey color and the leaves die, it sounds ugly but I find it bewitching. I couldn't help myself, I made Eric stop several times to take pictures, like a tourist.

It's a Train!

I love my home state, but more than that, I love my country. There is amazing beauty in every state I've been to (admittedly I haven't seen them all yet). Eric's mom's family is from Pennsylvania, and if you have never been there, put it on your bucket list. Pennsylvania has some of the most idyllic farmland I've ever seen. It is full of rolling hills covered in lime green grass and pastoral red barns. It has old, small towns filled with churches, schools and homes built hundreds of years before Texas was even a part of the United States, and that kind of history is impressive to me. I also love the mountains in Virginia. Driving through the Appalachians during a rainstorm in Virginia one summer, I saw steam rising from the hills, and it made them appear as if they were alive and breathing. The Pacific Northwest holds incredible natural splendor as well. From enormous waterfalls hidden in vast pine forests, to lush volcanoes and long, rocky beaches, you can really start to feel close to God out there.

Cotton in rows

Even though I haven't been to Pike's Peak, it's no wonder to me that Katherine Lee Bates felt inspired to compose the lyrics to "America The Beautiful". You don't need to travel to Colorado to witness the splendor of creation in America, because it's evident in every state. In times as uncertain as these, I find comfort in the constant beauty that surrounds me, it's like a promise from God of good things to come.

Sunbeams from the heavens

Bella loves the wind in her hair!

More snowy cotton

Moo Cows

Sigh. Miley Cyrus.

I don't watch awards shows ordinarily. I do like the Oscars but I can never remember when they're coming up and, let's face it, if you have kids, you don't generally get to sit around for three hours watching anything. However, I saw the furor on Facebook and wanted to see what it was all about, so I looked up Miley Cyrus's VMA repulsive, pedophilia-inspired striptease performance. If you haven't seen it and you are also curious, don't say I didn't warn you.

As a mom of two daughters, I will concede that I have become marginally more conservative than I was as a girl. I had the standard fights with my parents about shorts that were too short, shirts that were too low cut, and song lyrics that were too vulgar. As much as I wish I had, I didn't save myself for marriage and I was once a wild 20 year old who did stupid things that could have potentially made me a target for predators. I can readily admit that having kids has changed my perspective on what is right, good, and just. I have also become more aware of how society impacts my children, and how it impacted me as a child, even when I swore up and down to my parents that it wasn't. So you can take this with the added grain of salt that I am an acknowledged hypocrite. I am now an old, fuddy-duddy mom, standing on my soapbox, wearing my mom jeans and wagging my finger at Ms. Cyrus.

I wish I could compose some kind of heartfelt and inspiring blog that would go viral and convince Ms. Cyrus to change her ways and be a good influence instead of the exhibitionist she has become. Sadly, I am not capable of such prose, and if I were, it wouldn't achieve its goal. Because Ms. Cyrus's performance received precisely the attention she desired of it. Any thinking individual witnessing it could not have assumed that such debauchery was unintentional. I mean, there is absolutely no way on earth that Miley didn't know that if she got up on stage in a nude bikini and continuously rubbed her crotch that people would interpret it as sexual in nature.

And therein lies the problem; our society has degenerated to the point that a person can get up on stage in front of a TV audience of millions, and an internet audience of even more, and imitate nudity and masturbation without consequence, and even be applauded. Vulgarity and shock value has replaced art. Self-worship and narcissism has replaced civility and community. The good folks at Jezebel did what they do best, deflecting blame, insisting the hubub is sexist because it's not directed at Robin Thicke, shaming the slut-shamers, and insisting Miley's blatantly pornographic performance is not as shocking as her appropriation of black culture. This is American life now. Nothing is worthy of criticism, everything is acceptable.

I am not unaware of past examples of revolting exhibitionism, I simply don't agree that they excuse the pushing of new, obscene envelopes. I am also aware that Ms. Cyrus is in the business of selling her image, and that nothing sells better than sex. I still don't believe that excuses her behavior. I realize she is not required to be any kind of good influence, but I nonetheless wish she would choose to be. It's true that Robin Thicke is also culpable in this charade, but that doesn't excuse Miley's complicity in his misogyny.

I guess I'm old fashioned in that I still think certain things (like strip teases) belong behind closed doors. I must be a dried up old prune because I think women (and men) should dress appropriately and not disrobe in public. I'm cool with that label, and any other that gets tossed my way as a result of my principles. In fact, I hope I raise some old-fashioned girls who believe that sex should only be had with their husbands, and who know that they don't have to get naked to have value. I hope they will learn to use their brains and speak with conviction against things they know to be wrong, even if it makes them unpopular. I can only teach them to have respect for themselves, and pray that they will always know their worth.

I am praying the same thing for Ms. Cyrus.

COOOOOOOKIES!

Well! It's been a couple of weeks since I have been able to blog, after my last entry, Vivi's stomach virus made the rounds and we all had a turn being sick. After we had all pretty much recovered, Bella and I decided to surprise the family with some delicious treats!



Everyone in my family is a cookie monster. I mean, we are all thoroughly obsessed with cookies. My husband has been asking me for a while to make him some homemade white chocolate macadamia nut cookies, so I decided to do just that. Bella and I went to the grocery store and bought the white chocolate chips, and we bought whole, raw macadamia nuts from the bulk foods aisle at H-E-B. I used this recipe, with the addition of toasting the macadamia nuts. I heartily recommend you purchase your nuts on the bulk foods aisle of your grocery store has one, they are fresher and cheaper than what you can find prepackaged on the baking aisle. My grocery store has several options of the more popular varieties like peanuts and cashews, but only the one option for things like pistachios and macadamia nuts, both of which were offered whole and raw.

Unfortunately, whole, raw nuts can't be used in cookie recipes without modification. First of all, whole macadamia nuts are enormous! You'd have to have a jaw like a python to eat them. If I had time, I would have liked to chop them up with a knife, but I was taking care of the kids while baking so I settled for leaving them in the bag I bought them in, and smacking them a few times with the flat side of my meat tenderizer. Doing this ends up with some huge chunks and some tiny, microscopic nut particles, which is not ideal, but we do what we can with what time we have. So after I busted the nuts (THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID) I tossed them in some browned butter and a dash of sea salt, and put them in the oven at 350 degrees for five minutes. This process gave the nuts a nice, robust flavor that you don't get with raw nuts.

After that I simply followed this recipe, which is pure perfection.

These cookies are thick, soft, and chewy – just what you want a chocolate chunk cookie to be. They’re not too sweet, except when you happen across a nice cool hunk of white chocolate, and when that happens at the same time as when you get a bit of salty macadamia nut, it’s pure cookie nirvana.
Author: Kitchen Treaty
Recipe type: Dessert
Yield: About 36

Ingredients
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature
1 cup (packed) dark brown sugar
¾ cup granulated sugar
2 large eggs
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
3 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
¾ teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon freshly ground nutmeg (optional)
1½ cups white chocolate chunks (about 8 ounces, chopped)
1 cup coarsely chopped roasted salted macadamia nuts (about 4½ ounces)

Instructions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Line cookie sheet with parchment paper or Silpat.
In the bowl of a stand mixer affixed with paddle attachment, beat the butter on medium speed until pale and fluffy, about 2 minutes (or use a large bowl and a hand mixer).
Add the brown sugar and granulated (white) sugar and continue beating on medium speed for about 2 minutes.
Add the eggs one at a time, continuing to beat each time until well-incorporated. Mix in the vanilla.
In a medium bowl, sift together the flour, baking soda, salt, and nutmeg.
With the mixer on low speed, carefully add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients and mix just until the ingredients are incorporated. Stir in the white chocolate chunks and the macadamia nuts.
Scoop a generous tablespoonful of the dough (I use this cookie dough scoop) and roll into a ball. Tear the ball in half, turn each half a quarter turn, and smoosh the dough back together with the torn side now at the top of the cookie. Gently shape so that the dough ball is taller than it is wide and place on cookie sheet about three inches apart.
Bake for about 10 minutes, until edges of cookie begin to turn golden brown. Remove from oven and let sit for 5 – 10 minutes on cookie sheet so the cookie can set. Carefully move to wire rack to cool completely.
Cookies stay fresh when kept in a sealed container at room temperature for 3 – 4 days, or can be frozen for up to two months.