I am not the girl in a country song...and neither are you, most likely.

I love country music, and I have ever since I was a little girl. Recently, I realized that I have so much country music downloaded, that if I combined it all, it would make a six hour long playlist that spans three decades. I also love the new music, even the music that was portrayed in blogger Grady Smith's 2013 viral video, "Why Country Music Was Awful in 2013". In April of that year I listened to Florida Georgia Line's "Cruise" on repeat for three weeks straight, no joke. I think Jake Owen probably wrote the best descriptor of sexual tension ever made in his song "Beachin'"("It's a hundred and three between her and me and only ninety-two in Daytona"), and seriously, it doesn't really even need to be stated, but I love me some Luke Bryan.

Until today, I never thought about the fact that it might be an unrequited love, but now I'm certain: country music does not love me back. I usually turn on my itunes radio while I'm getting ready in the morning, and while I was putting on my makeup today I noticed that the last three songs I'd been listening to referenced "tan legs". Right in a row, three unrelated songs by three different artists talking about some chick's hot tan legs. And that's when I realized, I am not the person being sung to in these ballads. Imagine my shock! I had been singing along with these tunes and not one of them was singing back at me or women like me. Although there are numerous references to blue eyes, not one song mentions pale legs or freckles, and most are not aimed at brunettes (unless they are "señoritas" and therefore have the prerequisite tan legs). They don't sing about how their woman's intelligence turns them on, and they don't sing about tall girls. This is not the only way I don't fit into the country music stereotype. I can't bait a hook. I am a terrible (and I mean seriously terrible) shot. I have worn heels to a pasture party. More than once. I cannot tan at all, I only burn. And I can't shoot whiskey (thanks, Carrie Underwood, I'll have another mojito now). However, that was the first time I have felt disconnected from the music that formed so much of my youth and heritage.

Photo Credit: Tammy McGary

I remember I laughed so hard when I first heard Maddie & Tae's "Girl in a Country Song" a couple months ago. I got the giggles because it points out how similar all the new music is in a way I hadn't ever noticed. That song is ballsy (and no, the irony of that descriptor is not lost on me). Both those girls are tan and blonde, so it would seem that even the girls who do embody the typical country song muse are getting a bit tired of the stereotypes. I understand why they exist, I can't imagine that a song about a pale, freckly, smart brunette who sucks at hunting is going to be a number one hit in this genre (unless it's written by funnymen Brad Paisley or Blake Shelton). What I can say for the bro country music is that these guys know their target market, that's for certain. I don't mind not being the girl in the country song. I resigned myself long ago to the fact that I'm never going to look like Barbie, and that's okay, but I do have a problem when musicians start leaving all the artistry out of being country music artists, and sticking mostly to the business side of the music industry by writing formulaic songs.

Part of the problem is that these songs don't ring true, because most of these guys are actually married, and so they are no longer on the prowl for these elusive tan-legged beauties. I love the pictures painted by the bro country music because I've lived them. I've been on those tailgates and down those back roads. That part is widely identifiable for anyone who spent their youth in the South, but there are more things in life to sing about than just hooking up with the farmer's daughter and dancing in the headlights. Fewer songs like Brad Paisley's "I Thought I Loved You Then" are being written than about the more exciting (but much more short-lived and shallow) beginnings of a relationship. One artist who usually defies these norms is Tim McGraw, and yes, I know he's been around for a while, but there's a reason for his longevity. He may have made his fame with songs like "Don't Take the Girl" and "Something Like That" but he also sings about more taboo topics like abortion ("Red Rag Top") and he sometimes sings about <GASP!> getting older, ("My Next Thirty Years", "Live Like You Were Dying"). This is a versatile artist whose music spans the wide range of emotions in the human experience. I'd like to hear more musicians branch out beyond the temporal pleasures of youth. No matter how many records those songs sell, life goes on after high school and college, and there is so much more to sing about.