Troubleshooting a Sick Baby

Caveat lector: This blog post contains multiple references to vomit and other nasties.

When Bella was very little, Eric joked that he was going to make a flowchart for troubleshooting a baby. That will undoubtedly get made at some point, but in the meantime, I have some real advice for mothers of sick babies. Not that I'm any kind of expert, but I sure would have liked to know in advance what it's like to take care of a sick baby before I had one thrust upon me. Vivienne is currently recovering from her first tummy bug, and it put me in mind of all the times I dealt with this already, even though I only have two kids.

The first time Bella got sick, I was still getting over a stomach virus myself, and the poor sweetie caught it from me. Within 30 minutes of each other, my hubby and baby were both violently ill. I knew she was in for a tough time, having just gotten over it myself, and my oldest sister (who has four kids of her own) had advised me that if anything was ever really wrong with my baby I should just take her straight to Dell Children's hospital, because any other hospital would just transport her there anyway. I was unsure how much dehydration an infant body could take, so I rushed her to the children's hospital. I was greeted by some pretty irate nurses who made a point of proving to me how stupid and panicky I am by overemphasizing the word "once" over and over again. As in, "So, you brought her in because she threw up ONCE?" In vain I tried to explain the brutal force of the vomit and the mass quantity and how I already knew she had a stomach virus because I had one and my husband was sick with it too, and I got the same straight-browed, annoyed side eyes from all the nurses and doctors.

The next time she got a stomach virus I was determined to not make the same mistake. I stayed up with her in the guest room, chasing her around with the vomit bowl and getting doused in bodily fluids over and over again until I was literally out of clean pajamas and sheets. At 2 AM, as she dozed on the bare mattress, covered in a towel, I called her pediatrician. A different doctor from the same practice was on call. I explained that she had thrown up nine times since about 8 PM, and couldn't keep water down. I could feel the annoyed side eye through the phone. "Don't you know you should wait an hour after she stops throwing up to give her anything to drink? Otherwise she will just keep throwing up anything you put in her." No, doc, I didn't know that, I don't have a medical degree, that's why I called someone who does.

So basically, it doesn't matter if your kid throws up once or nine times, you're still gonna get the annoyed sigh and the eye roll. I've started defending myself by saying "Children of paranoid parents tend to survive to adulthood!". Of course, I have no way of knowing whether or not this is true, but it sounds more mature than screaming "You're a doo-doo head!" in their face and then running off crying. I'm not going to stop calling the doctor or taking my kids to the emergency room no matter how many stuck-up medical professionals I encounter. I know everyone has job fatigue, but it doesn't make your job go away to vent your frustrations on your patients. I'm tired and exhausted and have vomit behind my ear and it doesn't help either one of us to make me feel stupid for being worried about my child.

So if your kid is sick, eye roll be damned, the first thing I would recommend is to call her doctor. Describe the symptoms to a nurse and find out if you need to bring her in. Don't let anyone intimidate you into not doing this, it needs to be done. If your doctor wants you to bring junior in, bring him in. If not, take heed of the sound medical advice from your pediatrician as to whether or not to give medicine and what kind, as to how high their temp can go before you need to bring them in, as to when you can give them fluids and what to give them. There are massive variables from doctor to doctor and child to child. I have no medical education and as such, I refuse to give any kind of medical advice on this blog. Call. Your. Pediatrician. If your doctor tells you to stay home with your child, proceed to the advice below.

I always vacate the master bedroom in an effort to not spread the virus to my husband. It tends to be like locking the barn door after the horse is stolen, but it does get you out of earshot so you're not keeping him awake while you're up all night chasing the kid with the vomit bowl. I usually set us up in the guest bedroom or the living room on the couch, turn on a kid movie so the sick kid is distracted, and then gather my necessities.

You will need a vomit-catching bowl or bucket. Babies and toddlers don't know or won't be able to run to the potty to be sick, and good luck trying to hold a kid over the potty. Its pretty traumatizing to vomit for the first time so they will act funny. Bella (bless her heart) would always bury her face in the pillow and then hurl straight into the couch cushions, so I learned that if she turned over onto her tummy, she was about to blow chunks, and I could kind of get behind her and wrestle the bowl under her. Bella always fought the bowl, she seemed to think that if she turned over on her face she could stop the vomit from coming. Similarly, Vivi fought the bowl if I brought it out too soon. The only thing alerting me to Vivi's impending upchuck is a tummy gurgle and a cough that would turn to a gag, so if I brought the bowl out more than 20 seconds before the sickness came, she would get upset and cry and swat it away. I'm assuming my girls think that the bowl causes the barf instead of vice-versa. For Bella I used a large plastic bowl, for Vivi I used a six-inch tupperware container.

You will need towels. If your kid gets sick and your towels are all dirty, just get some dry ones, they're only going to get dirtier. You need these to clean vomit off the furniture and floors. It's gonna happen, just accept it. Make sure to try to not leave them lying around after they've got puke on them, put them in the laundry room or washing machine if it's empty.

Lysol, Purel, Clorox wipes, baby wipes, etc. Whatever you have that you can use to clean surfaces and your skin after they've been vomited on. You have to at least try to keep the germs from spreading. It's best to clean out the bowl after each vomit, if possible, and wash your hands each time too, if you have time. Also, if you have a lidded trash can, grab it and keep it next to you for easy wipe disposal. I say "lidded" because the little one may try to get into it if it's open.

Diapers and wipes, diaper cream, but NOT BABY CLOTHES. Dude. Trying to dress a sick baby is as pointless as trying to put a tutu on a pig. They don't want it, and it's just gonna get dirty, and fast. Just keep her in a diaper, and you could put some preventative diaper cream on in case she comes down with diarrhea later. Most likely though, you're not going to have much time, and you'll probably only be changing diapers when they get soaked in vomit. Sick kids don't tend to pee much, due to the dehydration from the vomiting.

Be prepared to bathe the kid a few times, and yourself. I usually just hop in with the baby because if she's getting a bath, it's because she just puked all over both of us.

When your child sleeps, you should sleep. It's best to not share a bed, but if there's no way around it (I did it pretty much every time) just know you'll probably wake up to the sounds of retching and get covered in barf, but you should still sleep when you can. Last night Vivienne was getting over the virus but still managed to vomit in my bed a couple of times. The first time, we changed the sheets and I got myself an emergency towel, which came in handy when she barfed on me again about an hour later. I just toweled us off and we went back to sleep in our barf sheets, which I changed this morning.

I hope these tips are helpful to someone who may be a new parent. I sure wish I'd had a play-by play in 2010. If you're reading this because your kid is sick, keep your chin up, it will be over soon.

Source: http://www.pregnantchicken.com/pregnant-chicken-blog/2011/10/20/medical-visits-get-used-to-feeling-like-an-ass.html